Is it grief

Even without tears?

For some time now, I've struggled to cry when I lose someone, to a change in life or worse, death. And it was never like this.

Whenever someone died, whether it was a close friend or a family member I'd just shared a meal with, or a distant relative I never met, I'd bawl my eyes on hearing the news of their death. I'd replay conversations back in my head, imagine what could have been, and endlessly ask myself “what if?”And sometimes in those moments of intense grief, I'd even question the existence of a next life. Maybe, I'd think, we are all just here playing our role in this grand stage of life.

Kubler-Ross's five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But lately, I've been skipping straight to acceptance. My cousin passed away recently, and I didn't cry. People said it was because we weren't that close, but I think we were close enough for me to at least have tears to mourn him. But I didn't cry, I didn't feel bad. I felt... normal. He was sick, and it was going to happen eventually, safe to say I was expecting it (don't know if that's a wrong thing to say). I'd already accepted it, even before it happened. A friend said the breakdown might come later, that I was just numb at the moment. But it never did.

I realised that it didn't matter if it happened that moment or later on, I still wouldn't have cried. Because I understood that death is an inevitable part of life that no amount of tears would change that fact and my acceptance, while perhaps unusual to some, feels like a valid and potentially healthy way to cope with loss.

There's no right or wrong way to grief. The “five stages” model is often helpful but it's not a rigid framework that everyone follows. It's completely valid to grief without tears. Tears are a natural expression of sorrow, but they aren't the only one. And it is important to listen and understand your own emotional responses, be kind to yourself, give yourself time to process your feelings and allow your emotions to unfold naturally. Grief is possible with or without tears, and that's okay.

To celebrate hitting 102 subscribers, I decided to release this draft! Hope you enjoy it! I love you all.😽❤️

Your anonymous bestie

Ree🤍