Time heals all wounds??

I'd say it's choice.

There are a lot of common phrases I don't agree with but in today's write up, I'd love to talk about one of them which is… “time heals all wounds”.

So, I was reading a very lovely piece on substack, which btw inspired this writing. Kindly give it a read.

How to forgive when they're not sorry

Reading this write up made me understand a lot of things. Maybe I did understand but didn't want to accept it, but I guess now I get it.

The phrase “time heals all wounds” feels like a convenient lie. While time can help us cope with pain, I don't think it necessarily erases it. I've learned that some wounds take more than just time to heal. Time may offer some perspective, but the wound will still leave scars. And the scars bear an ugly reminder to the hurt that you went through.

Time heals all wounds is a misconception. Healing is a choice, we can choose to forgive; we can forgive and move on, or we can choose to hold onto bitterness. We have the agency to determine how we respond to pain and whether we allow it to define us. Time is a river, ever flowing and we can choose to ride it's current or swim against it. Forgiveness is like swimming towards the shore, safe land, no tides and waves dragging you beneath to drown. Bitterness is drowning or clinging to a rock, allowing the current pull us further from shore.

When I say healing is a choice, I mean that if someone or something hurts you badly, you can take your time to process it. Healing is like a conversation with ourselves : What made this person say this to me? What pushed him or her to do such? Oh, okay. Those words and actions did hurt but it's up to me now. How do I respond to it? Will I allow it consume me, or will I find a way to move forward ? What if they didn't realise that their words hurt me? What if they didn't know that their actions bothered me? Healing is a process of asking yourself tough questions and making a conscious decision.

Forgive, but don't forget. Forgiving someone doesn't mean forgetting what they did. It's about learning from the experience so it'd be a constant reminder that you need to set your boundaries and let them understand that you don't condone their actions.

So, when I say choice heals all wounds. It's choosing forgiveness even if the pain lingers.

That will be all for today and you can read on how to forgive someone even when they are not sorry here. Trust me, it's such an amazing read and I absolutely loved it, start to finish!🌚

Let go of the past, for holding on to anger only poisons the present. Choose to heal, and let forgiveness set you free.

Till next time…

Your anonymous bestie

Ree🤍